When Hobbies go Too Far

Yesterday while I was surfing the internet here at work for porn..I mean material to write about I came across something disturbing. Someone actually spent time and energy writing a Xena crossover fan fiction with...Mama's Family.

Now before I continue, I have to say that I'm not against fan fiction...even the slash stuff (which is man on man as far as I know). It's writing, and I'm all for that. But as in every hobby, there are people who step over into that space we call... the Creepy Zone.

First is the Harry Potter slash people. Like I said, I don't care much for it, but different strokes for different folks. Fine. But when you start doing explictly sexual stuff with characters that are as far as I know underage, it goes beyond harmless into something much more disturbing. Harry/Snape slash fiction makes me want to rip my eyes out and cast some spell to the writer to seek some fucking help. You can call it fantasy or whatever, just don't be shocked when Chris Hansen visits you soon.

Sex comics featuring Pikachu....what...the...fuck?

Goku(dragonball z) and Anne Frank fan fiction. I shit you not. Thankfully they don't have sex, but at least Goku is able to battle and destroy HITLER, thus saving some lives in the process. No clue if Goku was really what landed at Hiroshima. Here's the link to that epic battle:

http://smallcave.net/goferchan/afgoku02.html

Steve Perry fan fiction. Look, I like Journey. I like their songs...I even played the arcade game. But NEVER have I ever had the desire to write a story involving the former Journey frontman. I could see like Rick Springfield, cause he was a good looking guy. But Steve Perry? What's next...Ric Ocasek slash? And this one is in FOUR PARTS! They had to put so much into it that one story couldn't contain it. Ken Burn's Steve Perry Slash.

http://aquila-productions.tripod.com/id200.html


Sexual fan fiction where for no reason well known characters suddenly become furries. Just when you can get off to just Captain Kirk and Spock living long time together, these people decide the twist the knife in your childhood by making them foxes. Dear God I need to bleach my brain.

But none of this...NONE OF THIS...could compare to what I found next. This passes the point of creepy until it became literally another level of hell altogether.

Not safe for work, home, or quite possibly anywhere

Jesus Christ having sex with a whale that fell out of the sky and breathes fire.

You read that right. Let me put it in caps just to make it clear:

JESUS CHRIST HAVING SEX WITH A FUCKING WHALE THAT HAS FIRE BREATH AND FALLS OUT OF THE DAMN SKY!!

Here are some of the brain crashing dialogue from this abortion called writing:

Jesus; "To bad its cold out," he though "I look so good in just my undergarments."

I end this with the line that made even my jaded soul weep:

"Jesus awoke from a fitful sleep. He couldn't get the whale out of his head. Or more specifically the whales monstrous phallus. "

And people call me the fucked up one.