Watching Paint Dry IS Boring as Hell

So I haven't written in a couple days. I could hem and haw and can claim to be too busy, but seeing as I don't have to work, that would be a lie. The truth is too horrible...too mind numbing to properly put into words...

But I'll do it anyway.

Saturday night, Sara, her friend April, and myself went out to drink. Seeing as I don't really have many friends, I thought I'd make the effort to become a bit more social. I was thinking of buying a few pitchers of beers, shoot the breeze, and maybe have a threesome.

I was kidding about the threesome...well mostly.

So we go over to April's house, and we all head out. Since I haven't had any beer in a few months (due to events I won't get into), I was ready to get my drink on, as the kids now say.

And then they tricked me.

Sara and April decided to get their nails done. Since I was now trapped, I decided to wait it out. It couldn't be that bad right? I mean, how long could it take...15 minutes...a half hour?

It was a goddamn eternity.

I would have preferred to spend the day hanging out with the lovely people at the DMV than to be subjected to this. My brain turned to mush reading about how some Dawson's Hill actor and how many actresses drool over him. The only moment of enjoyment was a woman yelling out to the car to her friend about "getting their toes did". Her words, not mine.

It was so bad I longed to watch grass grow...to measure the ear hair of old men...to watch a Michael Bay film. It was an hour and a half, but I know I must have aged three times that amount of time. If I was a dog, I would have dropped dead that's how long it felt.

Finally it was over, and we went out and enjoyed some beers. But the memory of that day will haunt me. A warning to those men who go out with their old ladies...make sure you're doing the driving.