"Ever Seen An Old Woman Naked, Timmy?

Sorry to use such a disturbing title, but it got your attention didn't it?

Today I'm going to discuss something that most guys won't admit to, at least not while sober. I fully blame basic instincts (not the terrible Sharon Stone movies, although it didn't help) for this, but shame causes most of us to not admit to ourselves the truth....

We will look at any woman naked.

Now I'm excluding gay men because....well they like other men. Nothing more. But heterosexual men will look at a pair of tits, regardless if it's on a hot chick, a 400 hambeast, or grandma just suntanning her sweater puppies on the old folks home deck.

Now this doesn't mean we like it...I know there are times I haven't enjoyed it...but much like a car accident, we have to look because in our minds, we have to see every woman naked. It's almost like a game in our heads to see who has seen the most women naked. It's a game that's never really discussed because guys would be ragging on each other to hide their shame that they hadn't seen that particular woman nude...despite her having hairy nipples.

I'm just saying that tits are the greatest thing God (or whoever you choose to believe or not believe in) ever created and should be free to look at by all...just don't brag to me about it or I'll mock you until you cry.